Tag Archives: identity

Chasing the Wrong Thing

I put pressure on myself to get married by age 22.

All throughout college, finding a girlfriend and getting married was the goal. That sounds like the plot to another crappy “American Pie” movie, but it’s true. My three-plus year relationship had come to a screeching halt during the dead of winter, sophomore year, and I was crushed.

The two-below-zero temperatures outside felt like 200-below.

I don’t know why age 22 was my target for getting married. Maybe it’s because I had it stuck in my head that that was around that age of my parents when they brought me into the world and I felt internal pressure to “keep pace.” I’m not even certain of their age though, and that makes my “Married by 22″ declaration even more ridiculous.

Now, after the breakup and without a girlfriend, at 21 years old, I was left to search. But I was searching for the wrong thing: another girlfriend to replace the one I had lost.

Psalm 91 is a Psalm about God’s faithfulness. God is our refuge, our fortress, He saves us, and protects us. God is faithful no matter the circumstances, good or bad. He’s there whether you feel like it or not:

Those who live in the shelter of the Most High
will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. This I declare about the LORD:
He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;
he is my God, and I trust him. For he will rescue you from every trap
and protect you from deadly disease. He will cover you with his feathers.
He will shelter you with his wings.
His faithful promises are your armor and protection. The LORD says, “I will rescue those who love me.
I will protect those who trust in my name. When they call on me, I will answer;
I will be with them in trouble.
I will rescue and honor them. I will reward them with a long life
and give them my salvation.”
-Psalm 91:1-4, 14-16 NLT

God knew I didn’t need another girlfriend. He knew I desired a wife. He also knew that my first love is to be the Lord, a lesson that took me a couple years to acknowledge.

Two years after the breakup, I prayed for God to be my focus and desire. It was a re-commitment of sorts when I put down the video game controller and picked up the Bible. I was praying more regularly and making decisions to honor God with my time, money, and in my relationships with family and friends. By no means was I perfect, but my first love became clear: God.

A short while later, Liz and I met. And in a flash we were married. Not because we had to beat the buzzer on an age limit, but because we realized the faithfulness of God and the work he had done in our lives.

He was faithful.  He simply needed me to be faithful as well.

Everybody’s journey is different as they grow in Christ, but God’s faithfulness is always the same. Thank God for his faithfulness and take comfort in knowing He will always be there for you.

Question: How have you experienced God’s faithfulness throughout your life? Click here to comment.

Remember Who You Are

My 9th grade basketball coach made it clear to our team: “Ben is the 3-point shooter.”  He designed four specific inbound plays for our team to run when we had to get the ball in from underneath our basket.  All four of these plays worked to get me a 3-point shot and there wasn’t any confusion.  That coach gave me the most clear description for who I was as a player and what role I was to fill on the team.

The Apostle Paul was clear about his identity as well.  There wasn’t much confusion in how Paul saw himself.  No lack of clarity once God had taken a hold of him and told him who he was.

In today’s world, it is easy to be confused about who we are or what we’re to do.  We don’t understand the core of our identity and need to claim who God is and what that means for our life.  Make these statements your own.  Know it, live it!

“I follow Christ.” When the disciples were first called Christians, it was because they were “like Christ.” Their beliefs were worked out in the actions of their lives. They joined Jesus on a journey. Believe that God has called you to this journey as well…to a life-long process of being conformed to His image.

“I’m a regular guy/gal.” Many of us struggle with thinking we are the center of the universe. There’s only one star in the Kingdom of God – and it’s not you or me. His name is Jesus.

“I’m called to make a difference.” Jesus’ plan was to make His love real to people through us, His followers. Be an influence or be influenced.

“I love life.” In light of eternity, we are given a small amount of time on this planet. Jesus said that He has come to give us life to the full. While we’re here, let’s finish the race, fight the good fight, and keep the faith.

“I am not finished, not even close.” Look for God at work and you will see him.Pray for more of Jesus, more of His love, more of His power in your life, more of His nature living in and through you.

Question: What would you add to the list of claiming your identity in Christ? Click here to comment.

The JV Squad

Selecting teams for “tackle football” each day on the playground was the highlight of my entire fifth grade year.  If I wasn’t one of the captains picking teams then I was certainly one of the first picks.  It felt good to know that I was a leader on the playground football field.

When choosing his team, Jesus didn’t go with the best available.  At least not in the world’s eyes.  He went with the weak and dependent.  There was nothing special about the twelve men Jesus gathered as disciples, they were passed over as rabbis and most of them left to be fishermen.

I’m guessing Jesus would have picked the boys playing jump rope to come on over and be on his playground football team during recess.

When choosing the disciples, Jesus could have gone to the temples and chosen those who had memorized the Torah. He could have recruited men of influence and good standing. He could have chosen those who were popular or wealthy. Instead, he took the least of these. He looked past the most obvious apprentices, approached some fishermen and simply said, “Follow me.” They did:

Jesus called out to them, “Come, follow me, and I will show you how to fish for people.” And they left their nets at once and followed him. -Matthew 4:19-20

Check out some of the descriptions the Appendix of the Bible uses to fill us in on the characteristics of the disciples: treacherous, greedy, doubtful, despised, judgmental, short-tempered, and impulsive. These were people who struggled with imperfections.  Think you can relate?

What made the disciples stand out is that they were willing to leave everything behind to follow Jesus.  There is no need to improve yourself before you try to follow Jesus.  Get up and go!

Jesus has picked you first.  He believes in you and knows what you can do through him.

Question: Jesus asked the fishermen to drop their nets and follow, what is he asking you to leave behind?  Click here to comment.

#3 in 2011: “Dad, am I bigger?”

I remember being impressed with Cooba’s answers when he explained to me how he knew he was growing bigger.  The kid is continuing to grow, he’ll be five in a few days!  He’s also responsible for the third most popular post of 2011.

 

“Dad, am I bigger?”

That’s the question that my 4-year old asked me. And he was set on getting an answer.  And he wanted more than the “Yea, you’re bigger…” response.

So I side stepped his question and returned one back, “What do you think?  Can you tell me some ways that you know you’re bigger?”

And he did. He told me he was bigger and this is how he knew:

1. “I eat big boy food.”  He is really proud of not having his sandwiches cut in half anymore.

2. “I drink water and swim in it too.”  True on both accounts.  In the last couple weeks he began swimming in the deep end with no life jacket on.  Fearless.

[Read the entire article.]

The #1 Rule of Cool

The #1 rule of being cool is to seem unfazed.  To never admit that something scares you, impresses you, or excites you.

Somebody once told me that it’s like walking through life with your hands up, guarding your head, and blocking your face.  You protect yourself from all of the unexpected miseries or hurts that might show up.

But I try to walk through life with my arms out and open.

Yea, that means catching all of those miseries or hurts.  But it also means that when something beautiful or amazing falls out of the sky then I’m there to catch it.

Question: When was a time you played it cool? Click here to comment.