Notes from the Breakout Sessions at the 2011 National Youth Workers Convention
Atlanta, GA
November 18-20, 2011

• Marv Penner – “Teaching That Transforms”
• Kara Powell – “Sticky Faith”
• Doug Fields – “Behind the Curtain: Tending to the Private Life of a Public Person”
• Mark Oestreicher – “How Teens Think”
• Doug & Torie Fields – “Family First: Raising Your Kids in Youth Ministry”

Marv Penner – “Teaching That Transforms”

Bore no more!  Creative Bible Teaching

marv@allaboutyouth.ca

Standing up in front of students and sharing God’s Story is a powerful thing.  A very powerful thing.

…Marv was late coming in.  He had been given wrong directions.

Know Your Students – The first rule of communication is to be sensitive to your audience.

• Searching – This generation of students are hungry for spiritual truth.  They’re thirsty & searching
  • We have a generation of students who are hungry
  • If we give them fluff, cliché, or pat-answers then we may turn them into spiritual cynics.
  • We have an obligation to give our students solid truth.  That is powerful.
  • Let’s make sure we give the students what they are actually looking for.

• Spiritual – They are spiritually “tuned in” with conversation.
  • After life discussion
  • Spiritual stuff, not just Christianity

• Skeptical
  • Of churches
  • Adults
  • Of bait-and-switch
  • The antidote to skepticism is authenticity!
  • When we are not authentic we lose the ability to teach

• Savvy/Smart/Sophisticated Sounding
  • This can be intimidating
  • Let’s not be intimidating, let’s talk about it.
  • As a teacher, don’t talk down to students.
  • Recognize how smart they are.

• Shallow – A mile wide and an inch deep in understanding.
  • Students have been taught what to think instead of teaching them how to think.
  • Because of this, they haven’t needed to wrestle with truth and make it their own.
  • How do we create an environment in our teaching that forces them to go deeper?
  • Students are ready for some solid stuff, not just milk.
  • Students are dealing with issues like justice, poverty, and multi-media messages.

• Sensual – Used to experiencing life with all of their senses
  • Sounds, sights, tastes, touches
  • Students live in a multi-sensory world and have access to things that tap all of these senses
  • So, when we teach, it can be disappointing because there is simply a talking head on stage.

• Survivors – “The generation that is raising itself.”
  • When kids are in survival mode they are not aware of their deeper needs.
  • Students are spiritually searching but because they are in survival mode, they don’t realize it.
  • We ought to give students a safe place where they don’t have to think about things other than survival.

Know Your Goal

• The Goal of Youth Ministry
  • Through intentional mentoring relationships and share experiences, spiritually mature men and women show students Jesus and point them toward greater conformity with the nature of Jesus and richer involvement in the body of Christ.
  • The ultimate goal is to point kids to Jesus, help them become more like him, and form into the Body
  • The Goal of Teaching
    • 1 Timothy 1:5
    • The goal of teaching is Love
    • Which comes from a pure heart
    • a good conscience
    • and a sincere faith

Know Your Stuff

The Seven Laws of Teaching

• Law One – The Law of the Teacher
  • Teachers must KNOW what it is they TEACH
  • If it hasn’t been run through our own lives it will sound and feel hollow and lifeless!
  • We must experience it!  Otherwise it’s theoretical and meaningless.
  • Students will know if you are teaching off the top of your head or the bottom of your heart.
  • As a youth worker, you teach The Bible.
  • “He was a man who knew and loved the scripture…”  That’s what I want them to say about me.
  • If you are going to be a person who teaches the scripture, you’ve gotta know it!  For real.

• Law Two – The Law of the Learner
  • The learner must be INTERESTED in the TRUTH to be learned.
  • If we’re answering questions kids aren’t asking, we’ll just be wasting our time!
  • One of the biggest jobs we have is to make sure we have created a tangible sense of need/interest in whatever it is we’re going to be talking about.
  • Stir up a need in the students when they learn what it is they need to discover.
  • 5-7 minute activity time before a teaching can stir a discovery into presenting a lesson.
  • We need to create in the students the ability to ask the right questions.
  • Marv is more concerned about the questions students are asking rather than the answers they have.

• Law Three – The Law of Language
  • The language used must be COMMON to the teacher and the learner.
  • If we use big words, “Baggage-heavy” words or “Christian-ese” then students may not get it!
  • This isn’t about “dumbing” it down.  We can teach the right language, but let’s start where they are at.
  • We have to constantly be double-checking our words.
  • Ask a student, “Give that back to me in your own words.”
  • “Do ya understand that?  Tell me in your own words.”
  • True scholarship is the ability to take complex concepts and communicate them in a way someone will understand.

• Law Four – The Law of the Lesson
  • The truth to be taught must be learned through A TRUTH ALREADY KNOWN.
  • If they haven’t learned the basics, the new stuff won’t make sense.
  • By the way, don’t assume they know the basics.

• Law Five – The Law of the Teaching Process
  • We learn best what we discover FOR OURSELVES
  • If we spoon-feed they will never learn to self-feed.
  • The whole point is to teach self-feeding.
  • It took Marv 20+ years to realize that he was not the hose of truth.
  • We can learn from students.  Balance this with the role of maintaining the boundaries.
  • Youth workers are the most significant and strategic theologians in the Kingdom, according to Marv.  Because by the time students are out of our ministries, they have their foundational rocks.
  • Teach students how to approach God’s Word by the way you approach it, the questions you ask.

• Law Six – The Law of the Learning Process
  • The truth learned must be REPRODUCED in the life of the student
  • If they only get head knowledge they really haven’t learned a thing.
  • It is all about “So what/Now what”
  • The truth must get into their lives and make a difference.
  • This has to turn into changed actions, attitudes, and relationships

• Law Seven – The Law of Review and Application
  • The best way to build retention is through REVIEW and APPLICATION with ACCOUNTABILITY.
  • If there is no accountability there’s not much motivation to own and live the truth
  • What do we do in terms of holding students accountable to what we have theoretically applied ot their lives?
  • How do we follow up with the action steps that we call the students to?  When do you “go back” and talk about you application for “patience” from the Fruit of the Spirit study?
  • Take the next step by letting students know that we are serious about the application of truth.
  • This takes more intentionality and students will have to be in relationships with adult leaders.
  • Who is checking in with the students during the week?
  • Accountability is such a huge piece of this process.

Know the Process

• The first and most important step
  • Define the BIG PICTURE
  • Know where you are going
  • “Communicating for a Change” by Andy Stanley – a book Marv just read.
    • Andy preaches one point sermons
    • His book addresses how he does this
    • …placing just ONE point at the clear center of what you are trying to communicate.
• You want to summarize the goal of your lesson in one simple easy to understand statement.
• The way to evaluate this is:
  • Give students a 3×5 card and ask them, “What is the one thing that you learned from today’s lesson?”
  • Or get a microphone and interview students as they leave the room.  “What is the one thing you learned from today’s lesson?”

Structuring a Lesson to Make a Real Difference

• Get their ATTENTION
  • Understand that students are coming from all sorts of directions
    • Jonny is mad because he just had an argument…
    • Jenny is bent b/c she can’t wear the tight pants she bought for tonight…
    • Pat jus talked to his mom about going on a DTS…
• You gotta get their attention for what you’re about to teach.  Get the tracking w/ya
  • Marv spoke on friendships
    • Cut out people from magazines, put images on stage for people to look at and asked, “Just looking at these people, who do you think you could be friends with…”
    • They look, decide, share, this creates good energy
    • Then, Marv says, “Alright, let’s talk about what real qualities make a friend…”
  • Anything you can do to whet their taste buds for the lesson is HUGE!
  • Marv’s BRILLIANT fire dealio on the middle of the floor
    • Made a fire on the floor, ask for a match
    • He didn’t get it.  Why???
    • “Oh, how about the fireplace…”
    • Now, let’s talk about sex…

• Get them INTO THE SCRIPTURE
  • This does not mean “preach them a sermon.”  Remember self-discovery is huge.
  • Marv likes for students to have the Word in their hand.
  • Activity
    • Take a chapter for James.
    • Pull out 20 words
    • Write a clue for your word and create a crossword puzzle
    • Now, exchange with another group
    • They learned more about James 1 that day than they would have if I were to speak on it for 3 hours.
    • Another idea – Video tape a commercial for Fruits of the Spirit
    • Get it INTO THEIR LIVES
      • What change will come of this?

Get students attention, take them where you’re going, now what do we do?

Effective Teaching is…

• ACTIVE
  • Get students out of their chair, get them involved
  • They shouldn’t just have to sit there like passive sponges…
  • Demonstration…
    • Marv distributed ‘name’ identifiers
    • Then he passed out scripts to each person
    • Some props to go along with each character
    • And then they went through the script
    • Marv was the narrator
    • They went through the story of Joseph being sold away, interaction with Pot’s wife, sent to jail, and then to the king.
    • This was a good interaction.  The acting was horrible, but the script writing was witty and it shared the story of Joseph.
    • A great way to share the story of Joseph without being a talking head on stage.
• That came from a curriculum called “Creative Bible Lessons from the Old Testament”
• There are many
• Sensory Overload activity
  • Eyes – what are you seeing?
  • Ears – What are you hearing
  • Nose – What are you smelling?
  • Gut – What are you sensing?

• BIBLICAL
  • Topical or Textual?  This is a fork in the road teachers arrive at.
  • Teach topics like fear or love, or from the text like James.
  • Topical
    • If you are going to choose a topic, make sure there is a scripture that addresses that topic
    • Now, make sure that your teaching is Biblical
    • Let’s say you were going to teach fear… what would you look for?
      • Jonah, Gideon, David/Goliath, Moses, etc…
• Textual
  • Let’s take Matthew 6.  What would you like to teach
    • Prayer, Kingdom of God, idolatry, fasting, giving to the poor
    • This means that you have to focus in on your one topic and shed some others

• CREATIVE
  • Look at the lesson from a bunch of different angles
  • Get many representations for the lesson you want to teach.
  • Use the Wheel of Creative Communication* handout
    • Gain a Main Scripture Passage
    • Gather other supporting passages
    • Highlight Bible stories, Characters
    • Start with the Big idea and ask if there are any of the following that can be used:
      • Game or activity  (Marv shared about the heart activity, pinning it back on…)
      • Music song, worship
      • Visuals, charts, graphs
      • Video clip
      • Personal illustration
      • Drama, skit, Role play
      • Current event
      • Literature, quote, statistic (Marv finds children’s books engaging)
  • Now, how do you weave those together for your lesson J

• DEMANDING
  • Teaching is demanding
  • Good teaching will always call for a change
    • Attitude, Perspective, Behavior, Priorities, Relationships
• Demanding teaching must provide
  • Support
  • Encouragement
  • Resources
  • Accountability
  • Patience, forgiveness, and lots of second chances

• EQUIPPING
  • Needs to give students tools to do what God has called them to do for the Kingdom.
  • We must equip for life!

• FLEXIBLE
  • When you choose curriculum, don’t feel the need to use all of it or that way…
  • Don’t grasp your current series so tightly so that you cannot be sensitive of the current need at hand.

• RELEVANT
  • Needs to answer the questions that their generation is asking
  • Relevance isn’t about Rolling Stone or TMZ.  It has far more to do about what you know about the students than you do their world.
  • Think about PERSONAL relevance before you think about CULTURAL relevance.

Acts 4:13

Sticky Faith:  Developing a faith that will last a lifetime
kpowell@fuller.edu
@stickyfaith  |  @kpowellfyi

Think about a teenager who is preparing to gain his driver license.

• Hours of practice
• Go to DMV, pass the test
• Get the car keys
• And they don’t know what to do with the keys
• The initially inch forward, then go faster, then become reckless
• Now imagine, 6 out of 7 drivers who graduate from that driver school fail at driving.  Would you send prospective drivers to that school?

Our research:  6 out of 7 seniors don’t feel equipped with faith that prepared them for college.

• Students know that they in ill-equipped with faith when they enter college
• Thinking about bridges, there is a bridge from high school to college.  In the middle of that bridge is a fog.  And somewhere between 40-50% of the students will drift from church after graduation
• 80% of those who drifted had intentions of sticking
  • What percent of your students will drift from the Lord and church within 18 months of graduation?
• “If drawing directly from my high school ministry, I would define Christianity as being about pizza parties and entertainment alternatives.”

Tim Clydesdale’s Identity Lockbox:

• Students put their faith into an identity lockbox.
• Pretend I’m a student headed off to college.  Where’s my faith?  In the identity lockbox.
• So, I’m headed to the University of Iowa with my faith in the lockbox, not to be seen or consulted.
• Generally, this faith isn’t unlocked then until getting married, having kids, and “settling down.”

Video Clip: Real life youth group students talking about their experience going to college

• Wanting to meet people
• Seeing parties for the first time
• Experiencing alcohol for the first time
• Drinking too much.  Going to bars.  Not being able to remember events.
• Being influenced by non-believers
• Sexual assault stemming from the mess of partying.
• Questions of “How did I get myself here?”  Brokenness.
• Habits continued when going home…
• Reconnecting with God.  “I’m sorry.”  Begin the road to recovery

Trajectories are being established long before senior year

• This is huge for middle school students
• We are cultivating sticky faith at all levels leading to graduation

Hey, take the content from today with a grain of salt.  There is still work of the Holy Spirit that needs to be at work.  This is not a formula, we’re simply highlighting tendencies.

One bias of the FYI research is that 82% of students live with both their father and mother.  That’s high for the average.  Another bias is the GPA median of 3.5-3.99

Who is one student that you want to bring sticky faith to?

Sticky Gospel

• Who has had caffeine?  Red Bull?
  • Kara has not “used” Red Bull, but has friends that has
  • It gets them through the meeting or whatever, but once the adrenaline wears off they crash.
  • That is what we’re seeing with students and their faith.

• Who shows the biggest rate in increased partying?
  • The average youth group student
  • The biggest wreck is the kid who has totally abstained in high school

• The Red Bull Rip Off
  • Ask students what it means to follow Jesus
    • Students will share things to do
      • Read Bible, pray, go to church
    • Students will list the don’ts
      • Sex, drugs, rock and roll

• Gospel of “Sin Management”
  • It is not the real Gospel.  It’s just managing the do’s/don’ts
  • Dallas Willard labels this as just being concerned about our behaviors.
  • Students ought to mention something about Jesus when asked, “What does it mean to be a Christian?”
  • Faith isn’t just about behaviors.  And if it is then it is simply like a jacket that we wear.
    • How does a student feel when he picks up that jacket after it’s been hanging in the closet for a while?

• How do you define the Gospel?
  • Insights from Philippians 3
    • Verse 6-9
    • Everything is a loss…  Garbage…
    • Righteousness comes from GOD
    • And righteousness comes by FAITH
• Think about a garbage truck.
  • It drives to your living room and dumps it garbage on the floor
  • That is what the gospel of sin management is like.  Garbage.
• We abide.  And when we abide, there is fruit

• Story of Rebecca
  • A girl Kara knew from camp when Rebecca was 12
  • Now that she’s 24 years old, she asks Rebecca about Fuller
  • After conversation about that, Kara asks Rebecca about her transition from high school to college
    • It was hard
    • She dated a non-Christian.  “Missionary dating”
    • She grew depressed.  Suffered an eating disorder.
    • The last place she felt like she could turn to was the church
    • Kara realized this: She had good intentions, but she failed Rebecca

• Reformation Theology
  • Good
  • Guilt
  • Grace
  • Gratitude

• Our lives are great big thank you notes back to God.
  • Kara has committed to not teach about commands without proclaiming grace right alongside
  • Jesus is bigger than any mistake.
  • If Jesus can’t handle a little alcohol or struggle then we need a new Jesus.

• The real gospel can handle doubt
  • Leonardo DiCaprio conversation:  “I heard he was gay…”
    • So began a 7^th grade conversation about Leo’s sexuality
    • Then about other celebrities
    • Then a girl said, “my aunt is gay.”
    • Another opened up… “I think I might be gay.”
    • “I think I might be gay too,” another added.
• Kara: “I am so glad I didn’t skip right to the Romans lesson for the day after that initial Leo comment.

• 70% of kids doubt their faith in high school, but few actually talk about these doubts.
• What did they doubt in high school?
  • Does God exist?
  • Does God love me?
  • Am I living the life God wants?
  • Is Christianity true/the only way to God?

Sticky Churches

• Students’ support in times of need… They asked students t rank 5 groups of support:
  • Parents
  • Adults in congregation
  • Adult youth leaders
  • Friends in youth group
  • Friends outside of youth group
  • What was #1?
    • Parents!
    • Other adults in the church were ranked last
    • When it comes to a kid’s faith, parents get what they are.

• The church is a people.  It is not a building.
  • The church is not 3900 Orchard Hill Drive.
  • The church is the people.
  • Remember that old “This is the church…” rhyme with the hand gestures?  On the outside it’s great.  On the inside it’s heresy J

• The Kid’s Table
  • Kara retells her story from eating at the kid’s table at family holiday celebrations.
    • Adults had nice setting.  Kids had little.
    • Adults had nice silverware.  Kids had plastic
    • Adults had pleasant conversation.  Kids had calamity
    • Does that sound like your church today???
• “Balance is something we swing through on the way to the other extreme.”
• Is there a time and place for youth-centered things?  Yes.
  • Grandma doesn’t want to talk about masturbation either… J

• The One-Eared Mickey Mouse

• Top difficulties?
  • 1. Friendship
  • 2. Aloneness
  • 3. Finding a church

• The more students were involved in intergenerational WORSHIP and RELATIONSHIPS before graduation, the better they did in college.
  • Intergenerational community builds sticky faith.

• We need to reverse the 5:1 ratio
  • We now need 5 adults pouring into each single kid

• 5:1 ideas from other churches
  • Service/justice work
  • All church campouts
  • New Christian Bday party
  • Seniors join adult small groups
  • Junior/Senior dance or banquet
  • Big kids and little kids worshiping together
  • Parents LEAD THE WAY on this
    • Story of single-mom who had pic frames on wall of influential men in her son’s life
• Get senior adults connected with the ministry.

Sticky Families

• Story of Kara’s 1980s youth group reunion of the church she worked at.
  • They had a reunion of who and what youth group was.
  • Students were about 30 years old or so
  • Driving away, Kara thought, “That was great.  Why do I feel so connected to that group of girls?”
  • They used to see each other 2-3 times a week.  Now we see them 2-3 times per month

• There is an epidemic of “Dry cleaner” parents who drop students off at church and come back an hour later expecting them to be all clean
  • This cannot be further from the truth
  • We need to have parents involved.

• Think Orange: Yellow is the light of Christ.  Red is the love of Christ.  Bring them together and its Orange
• Parent/child conversations
  • It is a good thing for the parent to ask their son/daughter about their faith.
    • You may or may not get an answer.
    • But keep asking.
• It is important, though, that you don’t simply ask but that you share your faith.  Share your own story of faith for them to catch.

• Ask students, “Do you know how your parents became Christians?”
  • The answer at the youth group was ZERO!

• Parents, do your kids know how you came to faith?
  • Do your kids know that you read the Bible?  Do you invite your kids into the discussion?
  • Asking the questions at supper
    • How was your day?
    • What was something good that happened?
    • What was something not so good that happened?
    • How did you see God working today?
• Let’s share with our kids the spirituality that we already have.

Sticky Prep

• FYI has written a 10-lesson curriculum for this.  Comes out in Jan ’12.
• When should you start preparing students for life after youth group?
  • Certainly should be at the START of the senior year.
  • Some churches are doing this with juniors.

• Talk regularly with seniors after graduating

• Training in…
  • Recovery
    • “When you commit a moral failure, what will be your plan?”
• Find a church
  • Make visits to the area, churches
• Time and money
• The first two weeks at college
  • They set the trajectory for the first year
  • And the first year sets the trajectory for the college career
• Don’t let a kid go away without a few leads for a church or para-church ministry
• Check out www.liveabove.com
  • Type in a university and see what ministries/churches are there.

After They Leave

• Contact in the first few weeks is crucial
  • Social networking
  • Regular mail

• Involve your current kids.
  • Have them create care packages for students who have gone away.
  • Get all of the kids/families involved
  • This also sends the message to the current students “You will not be forgotten.”

• How will you respond to students who fail?
• Encourage leaders to think about four years +1.
  • Through the high school career and then the +1 of college.

Story: The 2am phone call to a youth pastor

• Student shared that he had just slept with his girlfriend who was also a part of the ministry
• Youth leader met him for breakfast.  Preached “God loves you and will stick with you.  I love you and will stick with you.”
• Student interrupted, “I didn’t actually sleep with her… I just wanted to see how you would respond…”
• Students want to know how we will respond.

I would tell high school seniors to prepare, to plan ahead.  When you go away to college, you don’t just say “I’m going to leave, I want to go here” and just pack your bags and go. You learn about it, you find out what the environment is going to be like, if you’re going to need furniture in your dorm, and what kid of clothes you will need to prepare for the weather.  If you’re going to do that amount of preparing for moving, your faith needs the same kind of preparation.

Doug Fields – ” Behind the Curtain: Tending to the Private Life of a Public Person “

“Morning people are more spiritual…” J Or so we think.  Doug is not a morning person.

Doug now volunteers at Saddleback, where he previously was the youth pastor for 18 years.

• Doug has always wanted to be a youth pastor
• And then help to encourage youth pastors

He’s now being called to the health of the youth worker aspects.  A different season for him.  Less interested in the strategy of youth ministry.

This breakout session is about holding up the mirror to your life.

• If you’re not healthy, you might as well just be an activity leader
• It is important to have your private life in order

Every youth ministry has a “happy” side

• You get to engage in a teenagers’ life
  • It is so fun that God would use somebody like “me”
  • Even though Doug is “not cool” anymore, he is still being used.
  • God uses amazing people who are not so much impressed with themselves to make a difference
    • The joy to being in youth ministry is then marrying them off, then dedicating their kids
    • Legacy is also a part of youth ministry.
      • Jim Burns > Doug Fields > Matt McGill > and on and on and on
      • We get to be a part of a legacy of faith

Youth ministry is FUN.

There is also a darker side to youth ministry

• Feeling like we’re on a human treadmill
  • The most pressing need for youth directors today is to get a handle on their personal life
  • Life is busy.  There are always needs to be met.  Never ending.
  • Busy and out-of-controlness is a huge issue.

• Loneliness is also a huge issue
  • And youth pastors don’t talk about it
  • Doug is most susceptible to being lonely after a successful event.  Being the last one around…

• When this gets out of whack then a storm is on hand

Signs that a ‘tornado’ might be coming because of imbalance

• Cluttered appearance
  • In your car, desk, garage, whatever

• Low level paranoia
  • Living with the fear that you will be “found out”
  • Students will discover you’re a fake or phony
  • Leaving a series of disappointments
    • Missed deadlines

• Excess time is spent on easy and unproductive tasks
  • This stems from wanting to “control” something
  • Starting a to-do list with the easy stuff and skimping on the major

• Your connections with Jesus are rare and lack of depth
  • Reading the Bible out of an obligation

• Skimming in relationships

• Easily discouraged

When we focus only on the “happy” stuff and never address the tough stuff it is like putting a band-aid on a hemorrhage

When a tornado comes, where do you head?  To the basement.

• There are unfinished basements

• There are also finished basements

• In youth ministry, we all have a basement.
  • Our soul is either warm and finished
  • Or it is cold

The floor plan of the youth worker life:

• Drive/achievement/motor
• Time
• Study
• Spiritual Strength
• Refreshment Room
• Calling

Gordon MacDonald is an influence for Doug.  He reads all of Gordie’s stuff, though never having met him.

A driven person is…

• Most gratified only by accomplishment.
• Often thinks of status connections
• Not satisfied
• Likely to shortcut integrity
• Often known for a “trail of bodies” in their wake
• Highly competitive
• Usually very busy

Beware of the barrenness of a busy life.

Busyness has a cost and it is often steep.

Doug believes that there is a 10%er who have worked for a senior leader who actually cares about your soul, marriage, parenting, and overall health.

• The reason they are like that is because most of them were youth pastors.

Moving on, Doug teaches the way that he likes to be taught.  Action steps for areas.  Not to “buddy up” with those around you “pooling ignorance.

To the floor plan of your basement…

Drive/achievement/motive

• 1.  Make authentic community a top priority
  • Meeting with people who are safe – someone who won’t be divisive with conflict.
  • Authentic community is only as much as you are authentic
  • This person can say WHY!?!? to you.
    • “Why did you say yes to that?  You say you’re spiraling out of control…”
    • This begins to peel back the layers

• 2.  Address your “approval/applause” addiction
  • Many of us grew up ‘respect starved’ when the compliments were few and far between
  • Story:  600 kids to Mexico for the mission trip.
    • Craziness
    • Return home and Doug is the last to leave.  Cleaning up
    • Driving through the parking lot, sees the Senior Pastor.  Doug was looking for compliment
    • The Sr. Pastor shared, “Did you hear about all of the post-Easter stuff that went on here?  It was great!”  He never asked, “Hey, how was Mexico?”

• 3.  Fast forward to your life’s final scene
  • Doug doesn’t want his legacy to be a stack of books.
  • He wants his legacy to be relationships.  Family.
  • When we have a picture of the final scene, then we see the picture and begin to move toward it.  Align in the present.

• 4.  Realize everything looks better from a distance.
  • “Working at Saddleback in its ‘prime’ was gloriously out of control.”
  • “The people presenting here are not good youth workers” J
    • The best youth workers are the people you haven’t even heard of because they’re busy pouring into kids
    • They may have done some good things, but they are high on the achievement drive.

Pause for conversation:

• Authentic community is tough.
• Doug has a 2-hr lunch blocked off on a Wednesday for community with close friends.  There are some times when he’s thought, “Man, I could get a lot done instead.”  But there is a commitment to this
• Concerning #2, this stems from insecurity. – Extroverts and introverts can be discouraged from this
• Concerning #1, seasons of life can make this tough.
• Who are the people in your life that are asking the TOUGH questions?  They just want to know YOU
• Shifting priorities is difficult.  Especially from single youth worker, to then being married.

Time

• 1.  Remember who “owns” your time.
  • Jesus owns your time.  Not the church.
  • When you leave your church, the ministry will continue
  • Think about that!
  • Doug felt like he was going to be missed at his first church.
    • “Hey, do you have a bucket?”
    • Stick your fist in it, pull it out, and the amount of time that the hole remains is how long you will be missed
• If you are giving everything you have to the church, you will leave that church!
• You’ve gotta give everything you have to JESUS.
• Don’t kill yourself for the church, kill yourself for Jesus.

• 2.  Identify and track the rhythms of your time
  • When are you ‘on’ ?  What time of the day?
    • Doug’s most productive hours are 10a-1p
    • Then go to lunch
    • Then have people meetings in the afternoon, because it’s easier to be engaged there
    • Identify your basement time!

• 3.  Realize every “yes” is a “no” to someone
  • Life in ministry is about managing the “no’s” and the “yes’s”
  • Just because someone asks for a minute of your time does not mean you have to give them a minute of your time.
  • Example: Home for dinner at 6
    • Leave church at 5:45, even if he hits every red light he will get home by 6 and all will be good.
    • Now, if “Old Ms. Johnson” asks for a minute of your time in the parking lot then suddenly that minute is being taken from the family.
    • Not everybody’s “crisis” is really a crisis
    • “Hey, Ms. Johnson, I would love to talk.  Maybe we can do that tomorrow.  I could even give you 15 minutes tomorrow.”

• 4.  Learn to hide
  • When it comes to time, find a hideout
  • We are creating material that has eternal ramifications.
  • You can’t prep your messages during Saturday Nigh Live, hoping it’s good for Sunday.
  • Productivity needs to be maximized
    • You need a place to go where you can’t be reached.
    • Doug had a “secret office” on campus.
    • He also hides in restaurants.  9-11:30 is “empty space” for restaurants.

Open for conversation

• Your time is being managed by “perceptions of 9-5ers”
  • Don’t allow a 9-5 person determine how you make your schedule
  • Your hours are all over the place

• Talking about technology and “always on”
  • It’s not about being Amish…
  • But just because someone texts you does not mean you have to text them back.
  • Doug has created family rules for phones.  He doesn’t take phone calls in the car.  He doesn’t allow his family to take a phone into a restaurant
  • Phones can be a tool of the enemy if you’re bringing them into your quiet time.
  • “When you’re always connected to everyone, you’re not connected to THE one.”

• Handling the Sr. Pastor…
  • It’s about upward influence
  • Sr. Pastors don’t want us to be lemmings…  but we’ve got to stick up for our lives
  • “Pastor, that is a great thought but I cannot do that in this season…”
  • What is the worst thing that happens if you say “no” ???
    • Losing your job is not the worst thing that happens
    • You can lose your soul!

• Being in community is huge.  You need people who can ask you questions of your life.

Study

• 1.  Decide: do I want to study or skim?
  • This is a decision to make when addressing how you will teach.
  • Do you want to teach from study or skim?
  • We can wing it, but do students know the difference between fast food and a well cooked meal?  Yes!

• 2.  Establish realistic study time
  • “For every minute you teach, there should be an hour you study”  That’s what is taught in seminary.  That’s not real world.  But find something that works.
  • Doug has the 7-day calendar where he has blocked out his time.  Assigned it.
  • At some point in your week, there needs to be study time.
    • Not study to prep
    • Study to think!

• 3.  Study for depth over breadth
  • Quit trying to live up to other people’s comments.
  • “50 books a year…”  Forget it!
  • The goal is to say “I read some stuff that impacted me.

• 4.  Adopt paper mentors
  • Who are the people that speak to your heart?
  • Read their stuff.  Follow their blogs.

Open for conversation

• When you teach on a regular basis, it is tough to have a true quiet time.  This is a balance

Taking action on Spiritual Strength

• 1.  Know/identify your gauges
  • Do you know when you’re empty?
  • Do you know when you’re full?
  • Doug shared that he knows when he’s empty: Difficult to make good decisions, more selfish, less patience, short with people

• 2.  Schedule Solitude
  • “Silence is not native to my world.  Silence, more than likely, is a stranger to your world, too.” Quote (Nurturing Silence in a Noisy Heart p3)
  • Our lives are noisy
  • God is the friend of silence –Mother Theresa

• 3.  Make it about Jesus, not obligation

• 4.  Trace sin to its root
  • Why do you struggle with pride/gluttony/authority?
  • Doug lives out of a journal.
  • Book: “Too busy not to pray” by Hybels
    • Hybels writes, “Yesterday I…” and then he writes down everything that he did.
    • Then he steps back from it to ask, “Holy Spirit, what did I miss yesterday?”
    • Tracing it to the root

Refreshment

• 1.  Make days off non-negotiable
  • Exodus 31:17 – The Lord refreshed himself.
  • How do you refresh yourself?
  • This is a commandment.  What part of this don’t you understand?
  • “The devil doesn’t take a day off…”  He’s not your role model.

• 2.  Unplug
  • Get unconnected.
  • Stay away from the computer.  1 email can trigger me!  And then you’re off…

• 3.  Develop a “physical friendship”
  • For Doug, part of the day off involves something active
  • Doing stuff together has been really good for Doug.
  • Exercise is part of refreshment

• 4.  Pursue a hoppy that doesn’t require anything of you
  • Brainless
  • Something that doesn’t “engage” your mind for work.
  • This is an area in the basement of our soul that is so small.

Calling

• 1.  Be aware of your own depravity
  • Thinking about Sandusky…
  • You and I are only one decision away from being on that same newspaper
  • There is tension between calling and sin
  • The enemy wants to mess with your calling.

• 2.  Understand your own limits
  • You can’t do everything
  • At some point, you’ve gotta realize what you are called to do: Follow Jesus
  • My life is a follower of Jesus.  My life is not a youth pastor.

• 3.  Avoid the isolation trap
  • It’s easy when you feel called to something that you dive right into it and give it all your focus
  • But don’t go in alone!
  • Be in authentic community

• 4.  Don’t doubt in the dark, what God has called you to in the light.

Mark Oestreicher – “How Teens Think

Marko is excited about this subject.  And we’re going to talk about it

The most important thing you can do to be a youth worker is to develop your relationship with Jesus.

The second most important thing is to understand the youth

• Implications for how you teach
• For how you do small groups
• How you plan
• How you communicate with parents
• All of these things should be informed

Adolescence is a CULTURAL phenomenon

• Yes, it’s a developmental life stage
• We have made it a cultural phenomenon
• It’s unique, modern, and recent.
• Only 100 years old.
• 1904 was the start of this ‘adolescence’ as a classification

There is a base understanding that “this is how teenage brains have always been and we’re just discovering it

• Still, Marko is skeptical
• If we have made this a cultural thing, maybe we have also shaped the brain development

The context: Physical change

• The two years after puberty are the second-most time of change in our lives
• The first being age 0-2
• Marko doesn’t think the physical change is the most important aspect
• The physical change sets in motion the change of the mind
• Still, we can see physical change
  • Hair, height, voice
  • All of this starts in the brain

God’s puberty gift: Cognitive change

• This is the really significant stuff for us to understand
• Let this understanding shape your ministry
• Jesus praises child-like faith, but he doesn’t praise childish faith.

• The basic understanding is that during the young teen years is a shift from concrete to abstract thinking
  • Abstract thinking could be considered “thinking about thinking”
  • Concrete thinking is limited to black and white terms
  • An abstract thinker has the ability to speculate

Speculating ability and abstract thinking means a lot:

• You can empathize
  • A teenager can now cognitively put themselves in the shoes of someone else
  • “Why was I born where I was…?” is abstract thinking

• Story:  Two-story tower pond
  • You could climb the tower and jump into the pond
  • Kara Powell was speaking and she realized that “taking a leap of faith” is an abstract idea
  • Not everyone might understand that.  They could be thinking an actual leap…
  • Kara then tried to “concretize” the idea.
    • Taking a leap of faith is kinda like jumping off that tower into the pond
    • You don’t really know what the first time is like…
• 6^thgirl, “Kara, I think I want to be a Christian but I’m scared to jump off of the tower…”
  • It was a concrete thinking
  • …Actually jumping off the tower, not metaphorically

• Story:  Garrett on the Mission Trip
  • Garrett wasn’t a “stand out” student in the group
  • On this trip, it became obvious that Garrett had a gift for evangelism
  • 20+ people came to Christ
  • When returning home, Marko saw this as a good opportunity to share a good story from the junior high ministry
  • “Marko wanted me to tell you that I led a buncha people to Christ… but that’s not what really happened…”  Uh oh
  • Garrett continues, “What really happened is God led a bunch people to himself through me.”
  • That’s an amazing flash of abstract thought

• Now, it would be great if you could separate the concrete thinkers from the abstract and program accordingly
  • Doesn’t work that way
  • We’re extending out this adolescence and it is delaying abstract thought
  • Both modes of thinking teeter back and forth.

• As a teacher, you must constantly check for understanding.
  • Make sure the audience is getting the message

Implications

• Emotional implications
  • Emotions are abstract
  • A child has a small painters palette of emotional options.
    • Color options are the primary colors, black, and white
• With puberty, God takes the old palette and gives a new one
  • Thousands of colors, they don’t know how to use all of them
  • This is why young teens are emotionally volatile
• Story about Marko and his daughter Liesl
  • “What’s your homework situation tonight?”
  • She freaked.  “Why are you yelling!?!?”
  • This took Marko off guard.  He called for a break.
  • 3 minutes passed and she came back.  “I don’t know why I was yelling at you…”
  • This is when we can NORMALIZE the experience.  Marko began to talk about the new emotions and trying to figure them out.
• Are you depressed and don’t know why?  Are you excited and you don’t know why?
• When we gain these emotions, their like flabby muscles.
  • Story: Marko and his thumb
  • After the surgery and recovery, he couldn’t get his thumb to move
  • He was sending the signal, but it wouldn’t move.
• “Hey, happy puberty!”
• Because adolescence is extending, older people are less in touch with their emotions
  • Abstract thinking has been postponed
  • Growing into abstract emotions has been postponed
• Article in National Geographic about adolescence from a couple months ago is good
  • Maybe the reason teenagers are reckless is because it’s the only time of life that their brains actually allow for that
  • This also helps with the boundaries
• Question from crowd: Why is adolescence extended?
  • Short story: We’re not expecting young adults to become adults
  • They are living into our expectations
• Our culture isn’t expecting young adults to use their abstract thinking capacity, but it is CRUCIAL that they so that they can own their faith.
  • This is a tension we need to step right in the middle of
  • We need to take students to the shores of speculation
  • Don’t just give an answer or ask a ‘yes/no’ questions.  Ask why/speculating questions

• Relational Implications
  • Childhood and pre-teen relationships are formed out of proximity
  • Adult relationships form out of affinity
  • In the transition to this, there is a lot of things to figure out
    • At 9, my friend was someone I played legos with
    • At 14, what is a friend?

• Spiritual Implications
  • If you don’t understand adolescent braid development, you will be limited in what you can teach
  • PC/Mac operating systems
    • “Do you want to save it in the old format or the new?”
    • This is how the spiritual development works…
• Each student will have a world view of “how things work.”
  • This is a systematic theology
  • Not able to be articulated well, or at all, but each has it
  • Let’s say that one of the beliefs is, “Prayer is a good thing and God answers prayer…”
  • Not pray selfish.  But pray.
  • And let’s say the student’s grandpa gets sick.  “I’ll pray and he’ll live”
  • Well, he dies.  And now that though about “Prayer works” is discarded.
  • This is why teens and young adults walk away from a faith.
  • Why would we expect an 8-year old faith to hold up for an 18-year old
• Either the thought is discarded
• Or the thought is jammed back into the backpack.  Still childish and not informed
• Students need adults to help work through this.  To help students understand we need to come alongside and help them understand how prayer works.
• Always have fresh batteries in your listening meter.  Listen for certain “triggers”

Some new findings

The human brain isn’t done developing until the mid-20s

• Physical maturity = 16
• Knowledge maturity = 18-20
• Wisdom maturity = 25

Two primary areas that are underdeveloped in teenagers

• The pre-frontal cortext – The Frontal Lobe
  • The frontal lobe is responsible for decision making, wisdom, prioritizing, impulse control, planning, empathy, organization, focus
    • Pretty important stuff, but it’s underdeveloped in teens!
    • Looking at that list, it is a “description” of teenagers.
• Maybe we need to be a little skeptical of this?
  • This is true of the average teen in your community, but what we don’t know is “why?”
  • And what role can we play in this?
• We mirror our surroundings and live into the expectations (G. Stanley Hall)

• The temporal lobes
  • The temporal lobes are responsible for emotional understanding and interpretation
  • Combine this with the frontal lobe
  • More underdeveloped in boys than girls
    • Is this a nature/nurture question?

Neuron proliferation and winnowing

• In the two years prior to puberty, the brain goes into a massive growth frenzy
  • Growing additional neurons.  Those are the things that transfer information in the brain

• So, in this frenzy of growth, millions of neurons are sent out
  • Not all will be used in adulthood
  • There will be a winnowing that takes place based on a use it or lose it principle
    • How teens use their brain in the two years after puberty will determine how their brains work for the rest of their lives
    • This includes beliefs and faith
• As a youth director, you have to champion this effort in helping young men and women
• Be a champion of neruopathways. Help them shape their brains.
• It is not good stewarding to just teach information…
  • Teaching to the test is not good!
  • You’re simply depositing info to hopefully be taken out later.  Bank teaching.
• We’ve got tot be surrogate frontal lobes.
• This is a tension.
  • It’s being hard-wired right now for the rest of your life
  • But the student will not understand fully and be fully developed until the 20s

Comment from crowd: Teaching apologetics to teens

• Training students to think on their own feet.
• “Teaching apologetics has been seen as giving all the right answers to the tough things…”
  • Simply giving answers is in the mix, but that’s not what is important
  • We must guide the process and help tem to answer the question, “How can THEY arrive to the answer?”

How to grow the Frontal Lobe

• Sleep
• Healthy eating
• Living with the consequences of your choices

Doug & Torie Fields -  “Family First: Raising Your Own Kids in Youth Ministry”

Story of a Mom sharing: “My husband was gone doing ministry so much that my daughter asked, ‘Does Daddy still live here?’”

The great news is that our kids can be wonderful testimonies to making some intentional decisions about parenting.

Intentional actions: “At the very basic level of our parenting we have made every effort to let our kids know they come before our church ministry and other people’s kids.” –Cathy Fields.

Your emphasis should be focused on being a follower of Jesus rather than a worker of the church.

Doug was not the typical 9-5 person.  If anything involves family, he’s there.

• Doug doesn’t answer his phone when he is with his family
• He doesn’t answer his phone when he is at games
• “I’ve written a lot of books but that is not my legacy.  My family is my legacy.”
• Make your family the legacy.

Four principles: The Fields’ Approach (Not ‘the’ way… but our/one way)  |  Jim Burns is FANTASTIC, btw

• 1.  The PERKS Principle
  • We included our kids in youth ministry as soon as they were born
    • Their kids received the benefits of being a ‘PK’
    • We wanted our kids to feel so glad that their dad was the youth director
• Your family has the potential to be a model of the healthiest family that the other students in youth group have ever seen
  • Your greatest ministry is your family.  YOUR GREATEST MINISTRY IS YOUR FAMILY!
  • Make sure your kids get perks for you being their minister
• Torie shares about the perks
  • Open your home – Invite other students in and let your kids experience
  • Let them choose – Torie got to choose a small group leader/cabin friend
  • Let them play – Even when Doug was busy talking, the kids could play
• Questions?
  • How did the congregation view kids playing?
    • Doug was focused on Upward Influence.
    • He shared that it is important for the kids of the staff to have fun & be happy!
    • None of the staff’s kids paid for trips
    • Other perks would be to open the church for bday parties
  • Did this backfire on you?
    • Not necessarily.  They might have been down on it, but they graduate out
    • My kids were there for 18 years.
    • Where it got into trouble was when the kids thought they owned the church.
    • I love the fact that my kids love the church!
  • What age were kids along on the trips?
    • From the time they were born
    • That’s what they did.  They grew up on it.
    • We made the decision that in 5^th and 6^th grade they couldn’t go on the trip stuff.
    • That gave them two years away, they didn’t like that, but when they went to junior high they were PUMPED!
  • Living in a home
    • The Fields’ moved homes for the fact that they wanted to be the home where students would go to hang out
    • The students are going to hangout somewhere; why not make sure it can be your house?
    • All of the stuff we’re talking about requires sacrifice.  But it’s minor because it really does go by so fast.
  • What about the kids of the volunteers?
    • Not everybody likes it…  Really, it boils down to it being Doug’s job and it’s not theirs
    • You can’t say ‘yes’ to all of that.  Life is not fair.
  • What about when both husband/wife work for the church?
    • In-law or grandma type person to help/assist…
    • Start a babysitting ministry? J
  • “Cathy loves kids.  Every time she’s around a kid she starts to lactate.”  Hahaha J

• 2. The PEOPLE Principle
  • We surrounded our kids with incredibly wonderful people, friends, & mentors
    • This is the secret to the Fields kids.
    • Surrounding them with quality people.  The body of Christ.
    • Your kids can have the opportunity to see some of the greatest older students in your ministry and that has huge influence.  Also incredible volunteers.
• Torie shares:
  • People shaped who she is.
  • “Matt McGill always asked me if I had a boyfriend and who they needed to beat up.”
  • That let me know that they cared for me.
  • Teenagers were an influence on us.  Both positive and negative.
    • Story of Heather who jumped out of a moving vehicle
• Questions?
  • What about the expectations that the congregation puts on how they are to behave
    • We’re going to talk about it in an upcoming principle…
  • What about your kid at another church?
    • It was never optional for our kids to go to our church.
    • We went to church with our family
    • Youth Group, they had a “choice” of where they would go.
    • Doug’s son went to a different youth group for two years in junior high
  • What if you have no kids in the youth group that are positive influences?
    • You probably ought to find some… J
    • It was good for Torie to hear some bad decisions made.  You can either learn by making mistakes yourself, or by observing someone else’s mistakes

• 3. The PRESENCE Principle
  • We arranged everything within our calendars to be at our kids’ stuff
    • We made the schedules happen to be at every concert, assembly, event to be there
    • Were there sacrifices?  Yes!
    • Doug coached youth teams.  And he had to work after the kids went to bed.
    • Wasn’t the best for Cathy and I, but we made it work.
    • You’re going there to show support and love.
    • Quality time over quantity time is a myth.  You cannot force quality time.
    • Quantity time forces quality time.
    • Doug turned down thousands of dollars for speaking requests simply because he was not going to miss a game.
    • Presence matters.
• Torie talks about this…
  • Little is big – It makes a big impact
  • The values are caught – By showing up they communicated that presence is value
    • Being present in people’s lives really shows that you value them
  • Take advantage of flexibility – As a kid, you don’t realize how amazing it is for your dad to have flexible hours
    • And if we did have to go to the church, we knew that it was going to be fun
    • We enjoyed the people at the church
    • And we had fun running around

• 4.  The PERFORMANCE Principle
  • We allowed and encouraged them to be themselves
    • We don’t want to place challenges on the kids that they have to be the best behaved or to know all of the answers
    • “How much is your concern for their behavior and Bible knowledge is not about them but really about you?”
    • Doug was wounding his kids by expecting them to know the Bible and behave a certain way
    • People are drawn to authenticity.  Doug was able to joke about it and be real…
    • Who cares about what people think?
      • Those who are critical of their behaviors are not the ones raising them!
      • We’re so wrapped up in image management.  Forget about it!
  • Let your kids express themselves in the way that they do
    • Doug wanted his son to continue on with his football career
    • But when his son wanted to go to Africa, it was his way of expression
    • Doug saw the value in that.  Doug didn’t want to determine how his son expressed himself
• Torie speaks about this…
  • Expectations are real.  Whether from you or everyone else…
  • People will take notice of your kids… They will feel it…
  • “I know that I’m always being watched.  It’s a constant battle.”
  • Your kids will feel expectations whether you realize it or not.

The best part of this seminar is what you’re going to do with this afterwards.

• Debrief it
• Talk about it
• What will you do with it?